Brant update 2/4/13- 10:15 a.m.

Okay, so here is the latest on Brant. As of yesterday his blood gasses were off so they adjusted the tube on his ventilator and changed his vent settings to make things easier for him. Overnight last night he developed a collapsed lung. They put in a chest tube and changed his ventilator type because he was so stressed. This morning at about 5:30 they came in and said they put in another chest tube because they didn't like how much air was still in his chest cavity. So far his blood pressure has stayed stable which is good, that means he's being strong. It's a lot to take in in such a short time but he's being a trooper. They told me to prepare myself before I headed to the NICU because it would look really scary, and it is, but was he did not look as bad as I was anticipating. They are waiting until maybe tomorrow to try feeding him; they don't want to throw too much at him in one day. He's being strong and it's going to be a battle to get him developed but he is in the best hands; I just need to keep reminding myself that. There is nothing that I can do for him but get myself better but my mind is more worried about him than anything.

It's hard for me to get to the NICU. Oxycodone and I do not get a long at all. It makes me sick to my stomach and gives me hot flashes and they keep his room really warm so once I get there I feel like I can't breathe and start to get dizzy. But if I try to go without it like I did this morning by the time I get back to my room I'm in excruciating pain and that's just sitting in the wheel chair, not even walking. I want to be down there more but with everything that has happened in the last week, pumping every 3 hours, and not sleeping I'm exhausted. When they allowed me to put my hand in with him the other night I actually started to doze off in the wheel chair while Darren & Dad spoke with his doctors. I'm trying to heal as fast as I can and get as much rest as I can so I can spend more time with little "Rango" as Darren calls him.